Everybody has a story...

I remember when it started. The itch to know more about food and have more control over what I was putting in my body.

After years of sneaking home from school and jamming both hands into the cookie jar, and lying to mom and dad about the size of my after-school-snack. My sweet tooth never wavering. Dessert always on my mind.

I was in high school — a time in almost all of our lives where body image insecurities were at an all time high. The curiosity over what to eat and what you could accomplish by eating it was always lingering. I would jet home over lunch hour to whip up a stir-fry with my best friend or drive the 11 kilometers to Georgetown in my Pontiac Sunfire so that I could get a pita from Pita Pit. Our small town didn’t even have McDonald’s until I was in grade twelve, let alone a healthier option for lunch.

I started working at the local gym (also with my best friend, there wasn’t much we didn’t do together in high school) and my interest peaked even further. There were other coaches and trainers and people who wanted to change their bodies all around me, and I wanted to learn more.

I signed up for my Can-Fit-Pro Personal Trainer Specialist training and certification at the age of eighteen. I remember showing up on the first day of the program — after driving one hour in my beloved Pontiac Sunfire — only to be surrounded by people who were much older than I was, and with a lot more experience in the industry. I remember at the end of the weekend the master trainer pulled me aside and mentioned that I was a little young for this, but that she felt I was on the right track, and with more experience, I could do well. And after passing the exam, she gave me the go ahead.

I continued to work at the gym and run some group classes, but my passion wasn’t in the training. It was when the wellness companies came in and wanted to talk about vitamins and sport supplements, and when the local natural nutrition company came by to stock up their products and chatted with me about the purpose of each of them. It was when my colleague sat with me and explained what she was eating and why, as she prepared for her first fitness competition.

My interest in this area never left. As I moved on to University I had the odd course on Wellness — the one I couldn’t WAIT to study for. I was surrounded by female professors who had found ways to balance their busy lives with their desire to remain fit and well. I was surrounded by friends who wanted to get together over a meal, or sign up for a run together.

Post University I traveled with my great friend to Australia where we lived off of peanut butter sandwiches and bananas in our backpacks to save money for the road, but we experienced it all. We dined on the local cuisine to treat ourselves, did the odd mini workout on the promenade or went for a run on the boardwalk, and discussed the desire of remaining fit — even if we were too hungover to follow through with it.

Fast forward to life as a shift worker in law enforcement, fitness and nutrition took a bit of a backseat (or the trunk, actually). As I adjusted to my new career and shortly after, living on my own, I quickly realized that with too much on my plate I didn’t know how to balance what I was putting on my dinner plate, let alone get a workout in.

Over the years I struck a bit more of a balance with regular workouts and eating ‘cleaner’, but my nagging sweet tooth often got in the way. I would dive off into the deep end with a binge on sweets and ‘junk food’ whenever the mood struck. Pit stops at the 7/11 store for candy on midnight shift were a regular thing. Note: this still happens now and then. I’m just more aware of it.

What I noticed was that I could be ‘fit’, I could be strong, I could be healthy, all while having a serious imbalance in my diet. And what I couldn’t achieve while eating this way was my body goals.

We all have ‘em. Goals.

It’s important not to be ashamed of them, not to feel as though they’re selfish or less important than item #1…2…etc on your list.

After becoming a mama in 2017 I learned quickly that if I didn’t take care of myself I couldn’t be my best for anyone else. So I hunkered down on my goal — lucky to have a supportive husband who was game for anything. I was going to lose the baby weight and get my energy back FOR ME. Not because anyone else said I should or because society does a horrible job of shaming the new mama into it, but because I wanted to feel better, be energetic, be lighter on my feet, and crush more weight in the gym than ever before. And I knew that I could change my body composition too.

And I’m here to tell you that I did it. That you can too. That it’s important to look back on your story and be proud of who you were then but that it doesn’t mean it’s wrong to want to change. To improve upon yourself. To put your damn self first, and not feel bad about it.

After completing my studies with Precision Nutrition and starting my Practice as a Certified Nutrition Coach, I realized that these are the people who light me up. The ones who realize that they haven’t done something for themselves in a while, that they’re not totally keen on where they’re at but that they’re ready to do something about it. I love being a part of that journey.

And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of mine.

With love and a heaping tablespoon of nut butter,

Ash.